What Hurts the Most by Shannon Smith

What hurts the most,
Is forgetting why I let you go,
But just remembering the night you left,
And knowing you're not coming back.
It's been forever since we've last spoken,
And I've only been sitting around and hoping,
That maybe one day we could go back and change history,
Make things the way it used to be.
I miss all the laughs, the smiles, and games,
But it's all just a faded memory I'm being forced to wash away.
I was a jerk, a bitch, a whore,
And I'm sorry,
Now I'm just a lonely, upset, girl waiting for something more.
People do stupid things and we know it's for no reason,
But every day trying to move on feels like a whole different season..
You were great, a group of souls no one can ever replace,
I didn't want to say goodbye,
Even though I knew you were done with my lies.
The lesson's learned, and I know you'll never return,
But in my mind I still wait
For the day to come when I'll awake-
I'm wishing this is all a dream,
And then maybe you'll remember the real me.

I'll Walk Away by Shannon Smith

Not gonna be the same without you here,
I'd do anything to bring you near.
Just to see you one last time,
Just thinking about you brings a tear to my eye.
Can't get over it,
Can't move on,
There's no reason you should be gone.
Lost a life too short to live,
Now you're going upstairs to look down from heaven.
I promised I'd be good,
Although I've always been misunderstood.
A purposeless act,
That made such a huge impact
Can't go without revenge,
And I promise you'll be avenged.
Life can do terrible things,
So if I ever get another chance to fall in love,
I promise I'll walk away,
Walk away,
Walk away.
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IloveyouIhateyou by Shannon Smith

     I love you. Why can't you love me back? You're my whole world. You always have been.
     I hate you. You left me to be alone, which is where I stand now, when you know I need someone, anyone really. Where'd you go?
     I love you. I can't say those three words enough... Or maybe I should stop wasting my breath, because I know you don't feel the same way.
     I hate you. I know you hate me too, and that's okay. Or maybe it's not. I never thought I'd live to see the day we'd say goodbye...
     I love you. You have a hypnotizing affect on people, you let us all down but we still love you. And we don't know why.
     I hate you. Why can't I let you leave my head? Get out, go away... I don't like you anymore.
     I love you. Your warm false brown eyes get me every time. I still haven't let go. Just thinking about you puts a smile on my face.
     I hate you. You abandoned me. You try to tell me you don't hate me, but I know deep down you've got everyone fooled. But not me.
     I miss you. Please come home, love. You're gonna hurt me again, but I've got my arms wide open.
     I miss you.

Hurry Up and Save Me by Shannon Smith

How deep will I have to cut,
To show you I have a problem?
How soon will I have to leave,
To show you I can't move on?
Looking back at the shit that you do,
And everything you've put me through,
I've come to realize
This just isn't working.
So I'll meet you in hell,
Cause I never got help,
Then maybe we can work this out.
All I ever wanted to know,
Was if you truly loved me so.
Now I'll sit here, crying,
So maybe someone'll hear my whining,
And you'll finally realize
You need to stop lying.
Here in the corner,
My blade arm gets even sorer.
You've left me bleeding on the floor,
Cause I can't live like this any more.
My heart's breaking,
My soul's crying,
And even though I'm smiling,
On the inside
I'm quickly dying.

What Have I Done? by Shannon Smith

What have I done,
To the boy wearing #71?
Have I affected him,
Or is it a problem with myself?
It could be both,
But more likely the second...
Never want to say goodbye,
Wish we could last forever,
Never have to sever.
But wishes don't come true,
Everyone knows that.
You might know what to do,
But you're really just a fool.
I want to give up,
I want to go home,
But some part of me,
Just won't let go.
Love like this doesn't come often,
I wish I could say more,
But now I feel like
I'm putting on the final nail
Of my coffin door.
I've had my ups & downs,
You've been there through them all.
Now my faith in you is shaking,
And my judgement's becoming hazy.
You're like a drug;
Calling me closer,
Making me want more...
But when you're gone,
The aftermath's worse than this deadly war.
The war going on between my head and my heart,
The war that's driving us apart.
One side's going to win,
Going to be able to go on with their life,
But one side will lose,
I don't think it'll be you,
So now I'm saying I'm sorry.

Feel the Burn by Shannon Smith

Forget the liar,
That started this fire;
The one that took everything dear to you.
You find a match,
Which makes a flame...
A flame that'll take all the blame.
Blame wrongfully put on you,
The one who never had a clue.
It burns, It hurts...
But it feels better,
Because the cuts never worked.
Cuts never seemed to be deep enough,
And when it failed,
Things only got rough.
If you said goodbye today,
No one would have to worry about tomorrow.
What a fail,
Just remove the veil,
And join the dead instead.
The flame burns slowly but surely,
Damage has been done,
And now nothing's fun.
Not that it was to begin with,
But now it's gone.
Everything fades to black,
Sorry honey there's no going back,
You've lost your mind,
So enjoy the burn
And let everything slip away
Like it was yesterday.
You've lived your only life,
But you thought you'd get it twice.
Well dreams never come true,
So strike the match again and wish you never fell,
Because now you're going to hell.

Crashing Down by Shannon Smith

Just one more night,
For one last fight,
To find out
Who I am
All over again...
One last fight
To found out
What's going on in my head
Right now...
I've done things
You'll never know
And I've said things
You'd never imagine
Coming from me.
Now everyone's after just a girl
Lost in her own world,
Can't tell right from wrong,
Or up from down...
Wanna end all the pain?
Let's do it tonight,
It's alright,
To come crashing down.

Rain, Rain, Go Away by Shannon Smith

Rain, rain,
Go away,
Come again another day.
Or maybe if you would stay,
You could wash all my tears away.
Through all the fights,
Bitching,
Tears,
And moping,
All I've been doing is
Sitting around and hoping.
Hoping for that one hectic storm,
With the thunder,
Lightning,
And all.
Hoping for that one hectic storm,
With the rain,
And hail,
Projecting the color of Gray on my wall.
Gray, my favorite color,
It sort of describes my life;
Not evil and dark,
But not really pure and light.
So rain, rain,
Go away,
Come again another day.
Or maybe if you would stay,
You could wash all my tears away.

All the Little Dead Girls by Shannon Smith

Every little dead girl
Wants something more
Than what she has.
Every little dead girl
Wishes she had more to her life
Than what she had.
Every little dead girl
Wanted something more
But every little dead girl
Was such a bitchy whore.
Never had enough to live for,
Only had enough to quit.
Took everything for granted,
Made everyone a twit.
From the razors to the natural cause,
Nobody ever paused.
Some paused too often,
Some too early,
And some too late.
The ones that died too often
Never got to pick their coffin.
The ones that died too early
Had too much emotion
So their world went twirly.
But the ones that died too late
Almost had enough to say.
If only they had the chance,
They'd all come back for one last dance.
The dance for all the little dead girls.

A Letter From the Girl in Hell by Shannon Smith

You build me up,
So you can break me down.
You said I could trust you,
But now I don't know...
How much longer
Can we go on like this?
I have issues,
But so do you, witch,
All I'm asking for
Is one last wish.
I'm stuck in this messed up world,
A place that I never
Would've wanted to enter,
Had I known it would end
Like this.
Not knowing the future
Can make you regret the past,
And all I'm trying to do
Is make myself last.
You've known him longer,
But you should always remember
That you were the one
Who got us into this mess
In the first place.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You're stealing his heart,
So to hell with you.

Death or Victory by Shannon Smith

Let the rain fall down,
And wash away my sanity.
Wash away bad memories,
Cause here it's joy or misery.
Run away with me,
And from this hellish nightmare
We'll flee.
Just me and you,
Out on our own.
Let's get rolling,
Get this adventure started-
All you have to do is answer your phone.
Nothing could be better,
I'm at a highpoint in life...
What's that?
What's that you ask?
Yes someday I'll be your wife.
Pack your bags,
And I'll pack mine.
Trust me-
We'll be just fine.
I can't live without you,
So let's stick together
And pull through.
We can get away from here,
It's brought us nothing
But fear.
Long live
Our memories,
But show us
Our future.
We can do this,
If you just believe
It's death or victory.

Time's A-Tickin (You're the One I'm Missin) by Shannon Smith

Time's a-tickin,
So I'll just keep on singin.
Time's a tickin,
On the clock
On the wrist
That I'm missin.
Some say I miss on purpose,
Just so my time will be
Worth it.
But while you've been here,
All I've done is shead tears.
We've been great friends,
But I thought we could be more than this,
Whatever it is.
You're a theif-
Stealing my time
That I wasted on you,
And stealing my heart
That's been torn apart,
From everything
You've put me through.
Your brown eyes
Stare straight into mine,
And even though mine are blue,
They're still searching
For the best in you.
It used to be so obvious...
What was great,
And what other secrets
Are buried deep
In your soul.
Time's a-tickin,
So you better run...
Time's a-tickin,
So you better hide...
Time's a-tickin,
So you better
Get away from the girl
Who promises
No escape.

Don't. by Shannon Smith

Don't pretend
As if what we had wasn't real;
And if you're going to say anything straight to my face,
Don't lie-
Because I know you're not that kind of guy...
Maybe.
Give an effort
To see through my eyes;
Give an effort
To hold back your spies.
The spies that you sent out,
To watch every little thing I do while out and about.
Don't act like I can still trust you,
After all the hell you've put us through.
But don't act like this is goodbye-
Because if it was,
That would be a lie.
You've done some bad things,
But haven't we all?
Who cares-
Because in the end we'll fall.
But while we're still up,
There are some things to remember...
In life,
There are things that you do,
And then there are the ones
That you
Just
Don't.

71 Broken Hearts by Shannon Smith

You said I was lucky,
That you'd give me all of your love,
But all you gave me was pain.
You said you're gonna be famous one day,
Making millions with those skates.
You said there was so much to see,
And so much to gain-
But all I see is your career down the drain.
You said you'd give me the good life,
And that forever I'd be your wife.
Well hockey's a player's game,
So a player you'll naturally be-
You said you'd give 71 slapshots,
But all you ever lead me to was 71 broken hearts.
But how can you make 71 promises,
Before this all even starts?
No, make that 70,
For there was a slapshot
In my already broken heart.

Just That Boy With the Hockey Stick by Shannon Smith

You say you're nothing,
But to me you're not.
You say you're ugly,
But to me you're kinda hot.
To the world you may be one person,
But to one person you may be the world;
Please don't leave me now,
If you do then my world will be twirled.
You say you're high,
But to me you're so fly.
You say you're loopy,
But to me you're just goofy.
I love you more
Than a fat kid loves fries,
And if you do decide to leave me,
The only emotion people will throw at me is despise.
Because to me,
You are more than
Just that boy
With
The hockey stick.

Nothing by Shannon Smith

The girl with a broken heart
Knew what was coming-
She'd seen it all along.
The girl with the broken heart
Knows good things don't last forever-
Because if they did then this wouldn't be a poem,
But a song.
The girl with the broken heart
Could never escape her fears-
No matter how long she's tried all these years.
People coming,
Going,
In and out of her life as they please;
People coming,
Going,
In and out of her life-
Locking her heart,
And stealing the keys.
Everyone and everything's leaving,
If they were there to begin with-
Then the girl with the broken heart
Remembered she had nothing.

Running by Shannon Smith

I'm running,
Just running,
All the way across a field of bloody nothing.
With my life on the line,
When your hand's in mine,
I'm running.
Running fast,
Far,
And away from your heart.
I'm running,
Just running.
I'm running,
With you.

What She Didn't Know by Shannon Smith

Girl meets boy,
And that's the beginning of our story.
She fell for him,
He fell for her,
But what the both never knew,
Was that it would all end in hurt.
Nothing ever turned out right,
No matter how much they tried and tried.
Nothing ever turned out right,
Because he could never make up his mind.
'A tough choice' was what he claimed it to be;
But soon he lost all company.
Not just the feeling of his arm over her at night,
But also everything that kept him warm, safe, and tight.
Six months went by,
And soon he had had enough;
But what she didn't know,
Was that he had it real rough.
One year later,
Boy meets girl,
Girl meets boy.
He convinced her that he had changed,
But she wouldn't fall for another one of his lies.
He tried to get her back,
But she wasn't good enough to mask the pain in her eyes.
He thought she was kidding,
That it all might've been a joke;
But what she didn't know,
Was that he was really about to
Choke.

Writing by Shannon Smith

My old, sharp pencil,
Finds its way across paper-
Writing is strange.
Oh, no! Big mistake,
Eraser must fix it all-
Continue on work.
Words create pictures,
They dance around in our heads-
Then they disappear.
After exhaustion,
No ideas come to my brain-
Writer's Block is hell.
All inspiration,
Please return fast to my head-
I need you right now.
Something save me,
Give me topics to express-
I have feelings, too.
I'm just a writer,
Just an ordinary one-
One that needs to write.

Just Like the Boy With the Bread by Shannon Smith

He's slipping away from her,
And slowly you are from me.
I can't let this happen,
Someone needs to make you see.
See the light in your eyes,
And how they steal the shine from mine.
I'm holding on tight,
But I'm not sure how much longer I'll last-
Think of all the times we've had in the past.
You're just like him,
And I'm just like her.
And sooner than expected,
Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me.